Giveaway #42 Damage repairs

By February 4, 2023No Comments

Donation news number 42, nominated by our member Olive……

I recently met the most wonderful lady who is a single mum to two girls aged aged 10 years and 14 years.

From being a toddler the ten year old has portrayed exceedingly challenging behaviours and profound anxiety. Whilst acknowledging that the child has mental health needs no professionals want to accept responsibility for meeting her needs.

There are a team of professionals involved including a social worker, a welfare officer, an educational psychologist, and staff at her primary school but her only diagnosis is dyslexia. Other conditions have been mentioned at multi agency meetings, such as profound anxiety, sensory processing disorder Autism and ADHD. It seems that nobody wants to accept responsibility for supporting her needs until she goes to secondary education in September.

I was outraged to be told that at her last school, the class teacher, and head teacher locked her in a very small room, no bigger than a large storage space claiming there was no alternative because of her meltdown. Thankfully, both professionals were sacked but this incident has left her traumatised and for the last eighteen months her mother has not been able to encourage her to step inside a school environment.

Mum herself is not well, she suffers from fibromyalgia, arthritis, ulcerative colitis, and other debilitating conditions. One can only imagine how exhausting it is for mum to look after her 10yr old 24/7. Daughter has continued to have meltdowns and during these frenzied attacks she punches out and bites mum. Things have got so difficult for mum that she has had to seek help from emergency services 3 times. Extensive damage includes a smashed bedroom door, holes in her walls, the front door off its hinges, damaged door frame, and pulled down curtain rails leaving holes in the ceiling. In my professional opinion (retired primary school teacher) I would attribute these outbursts to the result of trauma she experienced at school.

Recently, mum has been told that if daughter does not return to school, she will be fined. The school has a new Headteacher who states that because he doesn’t know her they need her to come back to school before they can assess her needs. Obviously, he has lost sight of the fact that as she was traumatised at the school this has clear impacted on her mental wellbeing. The head expects her to move on from this incident, as if nothing has happened. It seems all the professionals involved are all verbally intimating that daughter’s problems are simply due to her mental state.

As a caring person who has worked with numerous children with similar challenges I would say that whilst she clearly has severe mental health issues her diagnosis is much more complex than the professionals are saying. Finally, a meeting has now been arranged with CAMHS 18 months after the incident.

I would like to nominate this family for an award from the 500 club because whilst I can offer support by means of offering free home tutoring and emotional support I cannot offer financial help which Mum desperately needs; basically to renew the damage caused during daughter’s melt downs. They have lived in this house for several years, but it is privately rented and every day she worries there might be an inspection. As you can appreciate a move of house at this stage would result in more trauma to this family, especially to the children. Hopefully with involvement from CAHMS daughter will eventually be able to return to school and family life can be normalised.

Friends, on speaking to Mum she was overcome with your generosity. Due to the damage to doors the house is very cold so being able to repair them will bring them all much more comfort. She’s even resorted to putting brown paper up at windows where curtain poles have been torn down. Her message to you,

“I honestly don’t know what to say but thank you. It means so much. It really helps to know there are some lovely people willing to help”.

Well done to all our lovely members, yet again you have helped someone in desperate need.